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    12-12-2012 Decembers letter by Ali Mirsadeghi In the name of God…… Change It’s stupid wanting to be your old self and get new results….. She came out of the class really stressed. She was choking with tears, no she was crying. At first I wanted to say that my class was ready to start, but when I saw her tears, I couldn’t. She said I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do? I’m tired of trying but not seeing any change. I swear to God I’ll do anything to get my grades up. I thought: she’s really ready to change I said: are you filling out your planning book properly? She said: to tell you the truth, no, I swear I try everything but can’t fill out my book I asked: where do you study? She said: I want to be honest with you. You’re not going to get upset? It’s really difficult for me to study behind my desk, but when I lie down I understand better and I sometimes walk around and study. I said: If you fill out your planning book and always sit behind your desk and study, then you’ve taken the first step to change. These things are really easy, if you can’t do it then just give up on being successful. She said: but….. I’m not used to filling out the book, I don’t like it, every one’s different, and you can’t force anyone to change I said: actually it doesn’t matter what you like, have to force some people to be successful. And please don’t go around telling people “I tried everything….” Because you not even willing to change the simplest thing, so just let it go Anthony Robins says, we change when we get sick of our old self, but the people who pretend to change (about 90% of the people), they’re never willing to pay the price They’re willing to go to the movies, but still keep the money they put aside to buy a magazine. If we want to change, we have to change our self, not wait for things around us to change… Changing our self means to change our interests, change our habits, change our attitude and simply change everything. All of us set certain barriers for ourselves where in psychological terms; it’s called self–image and the older we get the stronger they become. “I’m a person who….” When you start to fill out the empty space above that’s when you realize what self-images you’ve created for yourself…. for example: I’m a person who is very head strong, with lots of experiences, talented, social person, short- tempered, and…. Self-image is like a parasite, when we attach them to ourselves that’s when we lose control. Positive self-images can help us get through tough times and overcome our problems. But negative self- images can stand in the way of change. The worst self-images that students have are: 1- I can’t study behind a desk 2- I can’t study without an afternoon nap 3- I can’t fill out my planning book properly 4- I can’t study without music 5- I can’t study after it gets dark 6- I can’t study when I’m home alone 7- I can’t listen properly in religion class 8- I don’t understand anything in the geometry class How is ones self-image created? The more you talk to other people about your problems, there’s a more chance of finding more of a negative self-image. The self-image that we have of ourselves they limit us in a way that they don’t allow us to use our internal strength that we might not even be aware of. But is our self-image, who we are? Of course not, of course we can go further than that, but one simple sentence “that’s the way I am” can put a restrain on our progress. A lot of people have been stuck in the twists and turns of the road, and they ask themselves, why can’t I move forward? You have to tell them: you’re stuck where you couldn’t let go of your old habits and interests. A.M Our brain is designed in a way that it takes a lot of energy for it to create change, so it tries to learn something properly and then save energy by converting it into a routine action (habit). Then it tries to protect that routine, since with every change it has to use up energy. That is why it resists against the changes we want to make. We have to keep that in mind that this resistance is not permanent and if we could provide enough energy with our motivation, then we can definitely prevail against those stupid habits that the brain has set for us and replace it with new ones. Steps to change are as follows: 1- Identify our negative self-images and try to detach ourselves from it 2- It’s really difficult to change the brain but it is possible 3- Create enough energy to over-power our habits 4- A great source of energy is to tell ourselves if I don’t change my old habits today, I’m going to get stuck in the twists and turns of the road to success. 5- Replace our habits and remember that our brain can handle it and for its own convenience it will set your new habits as your new routine Practice: which one of your bad habits you can identify as unchangeable that can stand in a way of your success? Conclusion: It’s really stupid if you want to change but still try to keep your old habits and then expect a result. Then it’s better to get rid of your negative self-image to get ready for a new life. Since you’re still young you can use up less energy to change your habits and live your life like successful people who have the ability to change. The older you get its so much harder to change your bad habits such as too much sleeping, laziness and no willpower. Hope to see great changes in you! Your brother, Ali Mirsadeghi. In case you were able to make great changes in your life, write your experience in the memory section so you can help others.